Fifteen Days of Almost All of the Seven Deadly Sins

Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride

Let's see, lust is of course does not necessarily refer to erotic lust. The lust for yee sang is just as evil, (alilfatmonkey, take note), just as the reverend mother told Maria, the love between a man and a woman is holy too, to love this man does not mean you love God any less.

Gluttony, need I say more. Forcing in that last morsel of abalone because it comes round to our humble households but once a year... despite the fact that one now needs a shoe horn and buttered hips to get into one's jeans.

Greed....oooh, the banker's luck is down, let's increase our bets fivefold, from RM10 to RM50. A

Wrath ..... pickcher, PIKcher, PIKCHER, AAAAAAAAARGH, NO PICKCHER, AAAAAAAARGHHHHH, BANKER DOUBLE ACE.....RM150 down!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAARGH.

Sloth .... gym? No need la, gamble only once a year, sit down sit down, eat eat, eat more ya.

Envy ....barggger, you sit down oni you got my black jack. Blardy foool....that was MINE, you hear, MINE.

Pride ..... Wah, check out my waistline, bigger than yours leh. OR, Wah, I so clever, up the stake when banker bust hor...

And to make things WORSE, we had TWO public holidays, both long weekends, to exacerbate the situation. Hindraf, I rue the day you made Thaipusam into a FT holiday. Because of that I added another unwanted 1kg. Oh, however, I did lose my gasing hill virginity that Monday morning.



Check out that picture of the pig's innards!!! Aitelyu, damn choon la. Friend bought it from OUG Market, where its only sold on Mondays. Aiyo, people don't need to work meh, sell on Monday. Chis bedebah. A champage cork acts as a paperweight for the money, which in turn sits on the two cards. All that's missing is a condom packet to complete the ring of iniquity. Single malts to while away the afternoon....


Home made lap mei fan and siu yoke noodles, (not my home)......ah, distant dreamy look....

And finally, to end it all, the fifteen debaucherous days, is chap gourmet....

Venue, Fortuna Palace in Kajang Prima..... anyone with half an eye couldn't miss it. It screams to you from the road.

One last kopek, at the communal tossing of yee sang. Beyonce rules.....

The four seasons, (not the cake), which was okay, but not particularly memorable.



Oooh, that incriminating piece of evidence.



This nam yue roast chicken actually tasted better than it looks. The red coloring gives it a rather "food sacrificed on the altar" kinda feeling, and it looked a tad dry, but well, since I went for the non-breast sections, it was actually rather good.



Ah, steamed pomfret, my favourite. Dare I say it in Cantonese again? Tai tou chong? Tou Tai chong? Ah, what the heck, TTC for short.



Chilli prawns, in the same kinda gravy that you'd get chilli crabs, AND the fried mantous to soak up the sauce. The gravy was rather good with the oily mantous.







Vegetables with abalone mushroom.....twas alright....



Mmmm, I loved this noodles. Only gripe is, not enough noodles. Too much ingredients. The noodles were springy and firm. Nothing worse than starchy pudgy noodles.

Phew, got that out of the way, now we can finally move on with our lives.

By the way, the restaurant has many private rooms, fully equipped with karaoke. The proportion of Chinese songs to English is 5:1..... so if you are a banana, I suggest bringing your own magic mike or dvds.....

Prices seemed quite reasonable. For a table of 14 adults, and 6 kids, the bill if I am not mistaken came up to slightly over RM800.

My Life As A Centrefold

I always knew I was destined for greatness and fame. Everynight, I stare out the window of my aircond-less room, waiting to see the wishing star....so that I might say, Star Light, Star Bright, First Star I See Tonight, I wish I may I wish I might.... how did it go? Gepetto wanted Pinocchio to be a real boy, .... but all I asked for was FAME, I WANNA LIVE FOREVER..... [breaking out into an unsightly flashdance like dance]....Oooh, what a feeling...

So, you know when you have arrived, when early in the morning, a friend sms-es you, and says, "Chef FBB, (PHWAHLLAAAAHMAK, don't play play, CHEF sum more), can I order a carton of butterscotch suprise"....
Although I don't recall ever making butterscotch surprise, or any other butterscotch relations, I accepted the fact that somehow, the world had come to recognise me. Who cares how! [Breaking into song again, WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR, MAKES NO DEEEFFRENCE WHO YOU ARE, ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES WILL CUMMMM TOOOO YOUUUUU]

Then, suddenly, as if through a sudden epiphany, and flash of the lightbulb, I remembered where I had come across butterscotch. It was at that New Zealand Ice Cream baking workshop. Which meant he must have seen me in the papers.

I hop and skip into the office, happy as a lark, the way an unemployed thespian may skip around after landing a major role in Grey's Anatomy, ..... and quickly flip through the two english dailies, Star and NST. Sometimes, it's hard to find articles there. So I sms my friend and ask, eh, where did you see the article?

He replies: "Kosmo, malay tabloid"

KOSMO? Aiyo, where to finddddddd la......this is Bangsar lar fren.....

Anyway, who cares what paper I appear in right, as long as its the papers. (okay, maybe I dont want to appear in certain SECTIONS of the paper, namely the back pages, with an outdated passport picture beneath the captions, "Gone home to the Lord"...)

And I get YET ANOTHER sms from another friend, who also saw the article. By this time, my curiosity is piqued, so I prod a bit more. And my friend says, "Yup, your grinning face is in the centrefold". ME, A CENTREFOLD. Woo HOOOOOOO!!!!

That night, at a party, I proudly tell my friends, hey, I'm a centrefold in Kosmo you know.
"Cosmopolitan"?, they reply. "Err, no, Kosmo, with a K.... the Malay tabloid"....
Suffice to say, I did NOT get the celebrity greetings and rush for autographs I was expecting.

Anyway, friend no 2 very kindly offered to send me the article.

So drumroollll, here it is, ..................sandwiched between a full page ad of modern style tudungs,


.....and an article on KEHAMILAN TERANCANG, (Planned Pregnancies), ............

TA DAH, our wonderful New Zealand Natural Ice Cream Baking Workshop!!!!!

Chinese New Year 2009

As I tried to think of a clever title for this post, I realised that almost every permutation involving things bovine had been used in the mass sms-es, and just about every headline in the papers, when talking about the advent of the new lunar year. So, we shall stick to a plain, dull and simple title, but straight to the point.

I vaguely remember parts of this little ditty from kindy:

[forgot the opening lines]
Cow Tow first to papa, mama, then to uncles aunties too,
How I love the chinese new year,
Everyone loves too....

Not big on rhyming, these chinese songwriters.....




Like all the other events, I am amazed at the speed with which they reappear, in the blink of an eye, I seem to be handing out the familiar "hoi kong" angpows to my office people, and there's the massaging for playing cards, and the familiar yelling of "PIKCHER, PIKCHER"....Reunion dinners at my place are a fairly sedate affair, most of the older generation need to be in bed by 10.30 or so, and there are no cousins my age, to indulge in a spot of gambling. In the days of yore, when my grandmother was alive, at least the older generation would make an effort to play some mahjong and the younger set would at least try to play some blackjack while waiting.

Chinese New Year morning seems like any other morning.... the sun rises, (duhh), we get ready for the tea ceremony. I don't remember when this tea pouring tradition started, coz we certainly didn't do it when we were kids.

Every year, we string up the collective chinese new year cards we receive. Seems to be a lot less this year.....


Who said only Christmas Trees have decorations?


Strange flowers bloom apparently only on chinese new year.


Hmmm, Exodus 32:2 comes to mind.....


We usually have a vegetarian lunch at the in-laws place, with my all time favourite MUTTON CURRY. Yummy, I have instructed the wife to ensure we get to eat it more often. Afterall, its not like vegetarian mutton is seasonal....






The mandatory Lion Dance performance at the in-laws. For the longest time, Kid no 2 has been terrified of Lion Dance, and it wasn't until last year, when he was about to turn 7, that he faced his fears and conquered it.









The MIL has really green fingers. Look at her pomelo tree with red pussy willows at the back. Are they called pussy willow? I'm not sure. Or is it wussy pillow? But yeah, she has a veritable orchard and herb garden.



Kajang Satay,...... in its finest form.



Then there's the grand dinner on the night of the 1st day. No prizes for guessing where THIS chocolate fountain is from.



Apparently these pink flowers are Cherry Blossoms.... not a florally inclined person, I wouldn't know a Cherry Blossom from a Dying Strawberry, but I thought they were quite pretty....is this the famed Sakura that the Japanese rave about?



On the 2nd day, after hosting a small gambling session for my "1st generation friends" as they now call themselves, and managing to intoxicate myself on Johnny Walker Green label, I had to make my way for another in law dinner in Sg Chua, Kajang. A new restaurant called Xin Lin Tong or something laidat.





There's something beautiful about the whole concept of tossing salads communally.
Such a sense of camaraderie, and esprit de corps. Oh, and family, of course. I like my yee sang the traditional style, none of these new fandangled fusiony yee sang.... so this was good.



Hmmm, my stand on this is, try not to order it, but if its already there served, don't try to be too dogmatic about it. Very controversial stand that.





Various tapas.....


Luscious suckling pig....mmmm, lovely crispy skin. I still think the chinese suckling pig trumps them Western versions.

My favourite fish, Pomfret. Tai Tou Chong...the meat was firm, and sweet. Perfectly steamed.


Tasty prawns, dunno done what style, but thankfully not doused in butter or overly oily.


The lap mei fan...rice with waxed meats. A great filler.....


Mmm, I loved this fah lam with the prosperity vegetables and oyster. Tender slivers of belly pork, melting in your mouth and coagulating in your arteries. Very good.

I would like to try this restaurant again, as the food seemed pretty good. Anyway, its in Sg Chua...as you exit the SILK Highway into Kajang Town, its the first right turn after the highway, and you cant miss it. It is humongous.

And so the feasting continues..................... sigh. Minimal exercise too, for the last one week.

Life For Intermediates.....The Next Step After Beginners

The plan originally was to all simultaneously post on this day, the 23rd day of the 1st month of the solar year, in a writing style emulating him. The more I tried to copy his style, the blanker my mind became. Us mortals are destined to be the Antonio Salieris, juxtaposed against the genius of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, cursed to a life of mediocrity. But unlike Antonio, one accepts this fact, and does not shake one's fist at the Almighty for unfairness.

But yeah, I digress. Fellow bloggers, Hairy Berry, A LilFatMonkey and AWOL have already beaten me to posting their tributes. I shall not even attempt to match their wit and gorgeous prose. However, it does come from the heart.

I was thrilled to receive an invite via Facebook, a few weeks back to be part of this wonderful event. Actually, the original plan was to attend the Macaroons class at The Cooking House, but Kenny Mah's 30th would trump any baking class any day of course. A bit too eagerly accepting the invite, like a zitty teenager who never gets any invitations to the school prom, I cancelled all other plans. The original venue, Palate Palette, was apparently going to be the venue for a junkyard sale, so not very appropriate, and Kenny frantically asked for recommendations, in a separate email thread that spawned a whole new slew of comments, from stalkers to support staff. You know its gonna be a good party, when even conversations of facebook with strangers, who are also invited, take on the tone of friends you've known for years.

I arrived at Dua Annexe, much like a "Rusa masuk kampung"... rather lost, and proceeded to Delicious Ingredients, the gourmet shop, thinking they and Delicious were one and the same, and asked the guy where Kenny Mah's table was.

He replies, "Datuk Kenny Mah"?
I say, "No, Encik only, as far as I know"

About half the guest were there, in a very well sunlit room. Very intimidating, for a shy person like me to be assailed by so many new faces. Luckily, AWOL and Hairy were there. However, everyone was VERY friendly, and conversations ranged from circumcision to boob size to cheese...all very unabashedly. Yeah, I like Kenny Mah's friends.




The Youthful Looking Lad of THIRTY.


The baby blue background of the collages are meant to complement the Delicious theme..... in case anyone was wondering.


Look at all the happy looking people in the pics. All basking in the warmth of the friendship that was overflowing.....



An English lesson here? Past tense, present tense, past participle and what have you?

And since this is ostensibly a food blog, I guess I should mention something about the food. The menu is the standard Delicious menu. What sets this particular venue apart is the location and ambience. Foodwise, ....

The mushroom soup, which was very mushroomy, and still had chunks of mushroom. Very good, I wouldn't mind having it again. The garlic bread was okay too.


AWOL's Thai Beef Salad. How very healthy. Looked good, but since she was ill, I didnt want to risk any contagious disease, and didn't ask to try.


Hairy Berry's Salmon Pasta.... read his review if you want to know how it tasted.


The spicy crab linguine doesn't look as spicy as the one in Bangsar Village. In fact, it looked rather pale. And apparently wasn't as spicy either.


My nasi kerabu....the curry chicken was good, the rice was plain white rice, unlike the nasi kerabus elsewhere which are infused with herbs etc. There was a helping of ulam type vegetables on the side, which I quite enjoyed, but would have gone better with some sambal belacan. Shannon, the naughty boy, didn't eat his vegetables, I noticed. Had we been more familiar, I would've gasaked his veggies la.


In Cod they trust. Apparently Alilfatmonkey enjoyed this tremendously.


Duck confit pasta...again, not as vibrantly colorful as the BV branch, though they were rather generous with the duck, whereas in BV, you only get microscopic slivers ....almost fibres with a hint of duck....but this one looked generous.



Fish & Chips. Love the way they served the chips, in the paper and all. There was a unanimous decision that fat fries are preferred over thin fries, unless they're fries from MacDonalds.

But yeah, it was a wonderful afternoon. I love the candour with which Kenny treats his friends, revealing everything from a woman's age to their cup size. On many occasions, conversations were worthy of sitcoms....

Anyway, since today is the real day, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KENNY MAH, thanks for the good reading, and thanks for the lovely invite.