One Night In Bangkok Makes A Fat Man Grumble

[WARNING: CONTAINS LANGUAGE POTENTIALLY UNSUITABLE FOR THE GOOD PEOPLE]

....because of the vast array of culinary delights, Bangkok really is a disaster zone for those wishing to diet. Yet, oddly enough, one rarely sees a fat Thai.

Contrary to popular belief, I am an exceedingly romantic person. When I and the spouse go on holiday, I dutifully do all the things that a good tourist should do.



We went on a cruise. Okay, its not the Greek Isles, but hey, a river is okay too.


The Floating Market is one large floating souvenir shop. Tip to potential visitors to Bangkok, you can skip this part of the itinerary and you won't have missed much. Trust me.


We went to the mandatory souvenir teak factory, and checked out the wild life. Reminds me of Colonel Hathi's Elephant March in Dumbo, the cartoon.


We try to be cultured, and take pointless photos of mortar and pestles. However, the workmanship is rather exquisite.



We visit historical sites, such as the Bridge over the River Kwai, aka the Death Railway. Looking at the serene tranquil landscape, one wonders how it got the moniker, DEATH RAILWAY. Ooh, check out the pic in wikipedia, same location!!!



We played with Pussy.
A controversial issue, are the tigers drugged, and exploited as per documentary in (National Geographic? or is it Discovery?) TV? According to the volunteers working there, (Aussies, so that gives them credibility no?) 1-4pm are their napping time, and you can see them trooping around after 4pm. Well, I have to say, they are real hunks. Muscular and strong. No pussy at all.



Of course, to be fair, we mustn't only see pussy, but must talk cock also.


We also try to be happening, and hangout at places like Vertigo, where the drinks bill can induce such a feeling.



Our hotel is located just next to the Banyan Tree. How convenient. We stayed at the ALL SEASONS Sathorn. ALL is better than FOUR, of course.


I bring the wife designer handbag shopping.


.....only the finest lingerie for my woman.


Massage Down Under.... Ooh la la, alas, we stuck to the mainstream ones. Those Thai massages where you are fully clothed in makeshift pajamas.


And of course, gourmet food.

Now that we've gotten the touristy things out of the way, the real intention of going there, ie, to EAT EAT EAT, can now be narrated. But darn, I've run out of time, so I shall continue in a part II, which I don't usually do. Nothing annoys me more than watching a TV series that ends with ...."TO BE CONTINUED". It makes me want to rip the TV out of the socket and fling it to a wall. But dang, I gotta run.