Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I've Never Bean To Me

Scribbled quickly in the morning while waiting for the kids to get ready for our sojourn up north, dedicated to The Queen of DSLR, and Hairy Berry.



To the Tune of Charlene's I've Never Been To Me

(To Lemongrass)
Hey lady, you lady, eating all your life
You're a discontented odditer, and a very sexy wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do
But, I wish someone had talked to me
Like I wanna talk to you.....

(To Hairy Berry)
Oh, he's bean to Agra and Jaipur, India and anywhere he could run
He shared the room of his man friend and they sight-saw in the sun
But he ran out of places and friendly faces because he had to be free
He's been to paradise and he's always bean to he.

(To Both)
Oh, they've beaned like beasts, in their kaisekis, while they've farted champagne on a yacht
She's moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what she's got
She's bean undressed by T** and she's seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see
They've bean to paradise, cos they love edamame.

[spoken]
Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's Visions of dancing, On grainy wooden floors seasoned
With life’s experience.
That's truth, that's love......

Sometimes they've been to pining for lots of green beans, that might have made them complete
But they took the sweet bean, they never knew salty from the sweet
They've spent their life exploring the subtle peeling, that costs too much in the shops,
Hey lady......
They've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)
And its in EDAMAME.....

37 comments:

Laughing Lemongrass said...

You've shocked the flu right out of my bones!! I've never laughed so much!!!!! (and that's more than the laughing I did over the phone with you last night!)

You MUST sing this for me on my birthday!!!!

Life for Beginners said...

One word: BRILLIANT. ;)

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

WAHAHAHA>..u 3 edamame bean lovers..what else can i say??..eh ipoh cannot be that ulu rite? shud have internet mahhh...

kat said...

Omigosh!! *wiping tears away*

I read your title, and straightaway, 'I've been to Georgia, and California' popped into my head!
(and now I can't get it out..).

You so terror-merror-keterror lah!! This is one of the best 'appetiser' I've had in a while (haven't read the whole post yet!!)

Will be back later for 'dessert'..

*still guffaw-ing*

fatboybakes said...

greetings from ipoh! shucks, my nephews and niece all have their own pcs, and the parents one too...so i can surf with my hands and feet if i wanted to! well, glad my pre morning coffee rushed post managed to entertain some!

christine said...

3 beans lover for sure..i wonder will there be any part 2

kat said...

Priceless, PRICELESS!!!

*wipes away drops of tea from the screen*.. remind me never to drink when I read your blog..

I love the 3rd verse (champagne and yacht go together like girl and diamonds, but when you add that single word..ewwwww...farted champagne.. LOLOLOL.. that's when I made a mistake and took a sip of my drink..!)

What a lovely start to my day... Thanks! :D

Nic (KHKL) said...

sometimes, when one wish for tap water, he gets a bottle of pellegrino.

other times, when one wish for the drought to end, he got himself a tsunami of FUN AND ENTERTAINING, not forgetting WIT!

so spontaneous already so nice, i can imagine the full monty!

thanks, dude! edamame finally got the recognition it deserves, after being overshadowed by the darn sashimis...hehehe...here's to beans!

Nic (KHKL) said...

ooppss, i mean ENTERTAINMENT.

fatboybakes said...

christine, haha, ya, nic is lemongrasses' SOY BOY....

kat, farting is one the greatest inventions of God ma. it is the true test of lurve. farting in the presence of someone knowingly, and vice versa without fear of retribution, is the ultimate yardstick.

hairy, see la, so cheem, tap water vs pellegrino.

Jackson said...

nothing for me?

fatboybakes said...

i'll start composing JACKson and the BEANSTALK once i get back to KL.....

kat said...

Y'know, you score high marks for that 'song' of yours (110% actually) but after viewing DSLR Queen's photos of the emerald bean, your plate of beans look kinda sad-lah. Like overcooked liddat. Maybe it was overuse of special effect, issit??

*still chortling over 'they've bean to paradise, cos they love edamame'*

Lianne said...

weiii ... when you revealing out your other hidden talent? so many surprises!

fatboybakes said...

kat kat kat my dear, obviously i didnt plan a whole series of studio shoots for the soy...unlike some people, who even can rope in toddler ballerinas.... i just grabbed any photo handy, early in the morning while waiting for kids to do their business before bertolaking to ipoh la.... guffaw, hence the miserable picture. but in any event, mere mortals like could never hope to come CLOSE to the QUEEN DSLR's skills. but thanks for the 110% rating on the ditty.

lianne, what other hidden talents???? you sound very settled hor, in bratwurstland....even got nice herb gardens etc!!!! my my. so miss us or notch?

Henry Yeo said...

move over, weird al yankovic. FBB is here to take your throne. When is the music video going to hit Youtube retail stores?

skip jackson, do one for nipples first (he needs the pick-him-up before his exams)

Argus Lou said...

Oiyo, so funny, can die one... (*still clutching stomach*)

Precious Pea said...

LOL!!! I can imagine LL rolling and laughing on the ground.

Lyrical Lemongrass said...

Hubby was so amused when he read this. When he came home last night, he was singing this song (very da off-tune) to me! He says we should all publish our memoirs (blogs). LOL.

Nic (KHKL) said...

soy boy? hehehe...well, sounds better than toy boy though.

and definitely better than poodle noodle.

sc said...

wow, another bean story! erm, in this case, song! really good actually, this song's a karaoke fave and i was singing this post..hahaha *claps, claps*

kat said...

When I turn 40, I want my very own stud muffin..

daphne said...

Ha! Well done! Encore please!!!!!!!

Tummythoz said...

That does it. Never ever going to have edamame in public again.

The emotions (horror, sensual, funny) gushing thru mind when consuming may just explode over table.

TQ Hairy, Luscious and last but never least, you.

fatboybakes said...

tummythoz, i dun see any harm in emotions or edamame exploding over the table. just do it. and you're welcome.

daphne, i have to write JACKSON & THE BEANSTALK soon wor....

kat, you mean you'll be content with an edamame on a bun? okay, dibs on that gift....

SC, wah, i didnt think that song your time one wor. learn from priscilla ah?

hairy, whats in a name? a rose by any other name is still a rose.

LL, hahah, u prob just cruel. i'm sure bald eagle is very melodic, like a bird.

PP, yar, we were having another laffing session today over a separate matter.

argus, when u gonna contact us ah?

henry, but nipples never ask for one wor.

Argus Lou said...

Dear FBB, I have Lyrical's number. Will SMS her as soon as I get my temporary M'sian SIM card on Sat. See you all Monday evening - she hasn't told me where yet. Yeehar!

Precious Pea said...

Another matter? Will you be sharing it in another post? ;)

LL said...

Argus, it's like the chicken and the egg story. Which came first? (translated: how to tell you if I dun have ur number, woman?! hehehe)

fatboybakes said...

LL & Argus, i leave u to sort out laying your eggs...

precious pea, aiyo, no la, i doubt it postworthy la, that hilarious incident that got me laughing till i cried. really one. but these kinda spontaneous moments cant really be retold. people will think us mad....

Life for Beginners said...

That'd be a sight for soy boys, er, I mean sore eyes: LL laying her eggs.

P.S. Ask her Soy Boy for the pic he took today of her womanly warmth being wantonly worshipped... (by me, no less). :P

CUMI & CIKI said...

they should have a new reality show called "so you think u can bake/write/compose/sing/write/bake" and you should really seriously enter it.You'd win. :P really cute.. i love that charlene song btw!

fatboybakes said...

ciki dahlink, u so kind. ya, its a nice song hor. u know the speaking part? for the longest time i thought she said, "the guy you f***ed with this morning is the same guy you're gonna make love to tonight". years later, i realised the word was FOUGHT. i soooo must get u and hubby for a champagne brunch or tea...how to contact you ah?

kenny mah, i was just complaining to soy boy why i never get invited to these soirees....i thought the queen was using some divide and conquer strategy....

msiagirl said...

LOL! That's Great!

fatboybakes said...

msiagirl, u saw their respective posts right? wtf! i can never hope to reach that high standard. so i have to go for spoofs.

Life for Beginners said...

Divide and conquer? Try divide and confuse. This be the Queen DSLR we're talking about, right...

wmw said...

Hahaha...I sang the song out from start to end!

fatboybakes said...

wmw, so did the words gel? hahaha.

LFB, yup, that self same nefarious Queen.