Postcards From Perak

Sigh, how quickly the school holidays go by. Soon it will be back to school as we sing that tune from Abba, "Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning, Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile" (slipping through my fingers). Actually, truth be told, I hardly ever see them off with schoolbag in hand, at least not the older ones in primary school. I mean, school starts at 7.30am. I am still in the Delta phase of my sleep cycle.

Anyway, since times are bad, we decided this holiday to stimulate the local economy, and go Cuti Cuti Malaysia. We decided to check out the western seaboard of the Silver State.

Bidor Breakfast Stop. No journey up north is complete without the stop at the famous Duck Noodle place in Bidor. Yes, it IS overated and a tad overpriced, but hey, traditions become increasingly expensive to maintain....look at the price of turkeys at Christmas and Abalone at Chinese New Year. Fortunately, even though pricey, the food is quite good. Check out the delightful bakery along the same row, which boasts a variety of minature edible animals.

With all due respect, (digressing a bit), I find it peculiar, the chinese brand of vegetarianism, which seeks to imitate all living things in the menu. Vegetarian duck, charsiu, etc... however, it does result in a much more varied and interesting menu, as opposed to tofu burgers....

The drive to Lumut from Bidor is pleasant enough. A welcome break from Highway driving, and not too truck infested. A friend (Khaw Tai Tai) had told us before that the Damai Laut Resort was in the middle of nowhere, and I see now she was not exaggerating. The nearest shop is probably the distance from KL to Kajang. Well, maybe not that far, but felt like it.

Swiss Garden Damai Laut Resort.


There's something indescribably satisfying bonding with nature. Sipping beers under a coconut tree, watching the kids build sandcastles, and kicking them down. Life is a little like that huh.

I'm sure the turtle sanctuary is a very well kept secret. There are signboards along the Lumut Pantai Remis trunk road, which go, PUSAT PENGURUSAN PENYU, 2km, followed by 1km, and suddenly, NOTHING. Unless you were psychic, and had the turtle sense to know where to turn, you would never find it. Those signboards show distances to a junction, which lead to the place, but the actual place is like another 7km from the turn off. Typical Malaysian signboards. Even after you turn, you'd be wondering, "I don't see any sea in sight....are these condo living turtles or what?"

Our ongoing Perakian jalan jalan (and brother in law's GPS) led us to Pantai Remis fishing village. Very exotic.

Pantai Remis Fishing Village

Okay, now for the food part of the journey. Despite being located in the boondocks, the resort menu did not look appetising, not to mention, expensive, and with an entourage of 12, it made sense to suffer the ride out to civilisation.

We headed for a supposedly famous place in Pantai Remis for dinner, but of course, as arse luck would have it, it was CLOSED!!!! So we picked another aircond joint along the road, called Kok Kuen or something like that.

Marmite Chicken, was good. After foraging for food for some time, anything would taste good I reckon.


Mantis Shrimp, one of the supposed specialties of this area. I personally do not have any particular affinity with mantis shrimps. Give me good old big prawns any day. But it was flavourful enough, and the sauce went well with rice.


Steamed Sea Prawns, which were fresh, but rather non descript.


Deep Sea Grouper, which initially they said they didn't have, when they were trying to flog off a Pomfret, but when the Pomfret was snapped up, they miraculously had a grouper afterall. Disappointing, to say the least.


Fried err...meen seen? Not my favourite noodle of choice. My preferences are Yellow Noodle, Kueh Teow, Mee Hoon (the thin kind, not the fat one), followed by the "dan lain lain" in that order.

Our next adventure, lunch after the turtle sanctuary, on day two (the hotel breakfast buffet is largely forgettable), was this coffee shop in the Pantai Remis fishing village. This is one meal I will NEVER forget. I have never seen that many flies in one location before, it was absolutely revolting, even by my nonchalant standards. It probably made the Fly Plague of Egypt look like summer's picnic by Manly Beach. However, I thought it might a good trial in "toughening the kids"...and if they could escape this adventure diarrhoea free, then I have trained them well. I have always been scornful of overprotective parents who refuse to let their kids eat coffee shop food, etc....unless there's a specific allergy, I reckon kids should be exposed to as much different foods as possible.

Despite no covering, the flies were not attracted to these.




Note the solo fly on the plastic sheet. It was probably in transit.


The food however, was rather good. My pork noodles was yummy, and piping hot, thus warding off any threat of cholera.


The char kueh teow, fried by a damn hip uncle who spoke fluent english, and wore sunglasses, was also rather good.

Check out the flies hovering around the rim of the finished glass of milo. Actually, what really gave me the shudders was entering the toilet, and seeing the main mothership of flies.....brrrrr...... verdict, the kids, including my 2½ yr old toddler, emerged pretty unscathed, thankfully.

Moving back to civilisation, Ipoh. Dinner at Soon Fatt.... opposite was a kopitiam with a lady selling apam, with a long queue. I had to have it of course.

We're probably funding her kids education in Harvard or Oxford I tell you. The profit margin must be exorbitant. Kosong some more.


Delicious claypot tofu, which is a staple for the kids. Whenever in doubt, order rice and taufu, and you won't go wrong. Pretty low maintenance. I have trained them well.


More tofu. What a treat for them!!! Two varieties!!! Silken smooth, it really is a very good dish.


I think these were marmite ribs. Or guineess ribs. Very tasty, and the meat tender and succulent.




Lovely greens that were finished in a jiffy.



The highlight was this pomfret from the fishing village, bought earlier and brought to the restaurant. Unfortunately, due to some miscommunication, they only brought ONE fish to the restaurant. Pity, it was superbly fresh....sigh, it was like foreplay ....without ....you know.


Ginger chicken. I absolutely LOVE the gingery gravy. Give me this dish everyday, I don't mind.

Breakfast the following day, pork noodles at some kopitiam, also in the vicinity of Soon Fatt. I forget the name, but the dim sum is pretty good too.

Much as I love the aroma and taste of Ipoh White Coffee, I think the concept of "Kurang Manis" is not readily grasped by Malaysians in general, of all races.

What would a trip to Ipoh be without the requisite Ipoh Hor Fun. The folks opted for Nam Heong this time. I personally prefer Thean Chun. I found the stock a bit too sweet, literally.

Nothing like the aroma of freshly baked pastries. Charsiu sow and egg tarts.




It's my 3rd trip to Ipoh this year, and I still haven't tried the famous egg tarts from Sim Mee Market. Drat.

And across the road from Nam Heong, Sin Yin Loong Coffee shop, I think its called, more Ipoh White Coffee and the must have caramel custard.

Being Perak born, I naturally have an affinity for the TOMB. (Town of My Birth). Actually, I was born in Taiping. Okay, State of My Birth.

There's a lot more to see and do, and eat I'm sure. I can't wait to check it out again in the next school holiday. I want to visit Kelly's Castle, The charcoal factory, the tin mining dredge, etc etc.

How Will I Ever Eat Steak Again, Part II

A few months ago, renowned international photographer invited for an incredible dinner of Prime Rib Roast at his place. The steak was so good, at that point I wondered how I could ever eat the normal run of the mill steak again. So, it was to my utter delight, that over dinner one night, with the crew from the Everybody Loves Raymond group, it was decided that we should all chip in to sample yet another round of artery clogging gorgeous steak.

To my alarm, my get a call 3 days before the dinner, the conversation somewhat as follows:

JI: Hey, FBB, I'm in Bangsar village. Problem la.
FBB: Argh, don't tell me no beef?
JI: Ya, they've run out of the rib roast.
FBB: What about the wagyu rib eye?
JI: Yeah, that was what I was gonna ask you. It's RM190 /kg, you think that'll be okay?
FBB: Aiya, the prime rib oridi RM165/kg ma, sure okay la. Go for it.
JI: Yer shure? The whole thing will cost about RM800!
FBB: Can la can la. I'm sure no one will object.

Truth be told, I've been eyeing that slab of wagyu ever since I laid my eyes on it (not THAT particular slab, but you know what I mean), and was DELIGHTED that there was now an excuse to try it out.

It was a big logistic exercise. Workaholic Young Lawyer and Wife were hosting at their place. WYL Wife had to swing by to collect my roasting pan. She also would prepare a Shepherd's Pie, and Strawberry Trifle, while I offered cake.

Ah, the aroma of the roasted steak filled the air of a VERY LARGE kitchen, making me weak at the knees as I inhaled that fragrance.

There it was, crusted in black pepper and coarse salt. What was once part of a beer fed massaged cow, was now sitting on a roasting pan, waiting to be consumed.....





A good meat thermometer is crucial. The Iron Chef brought his own meat thermometer. Mine was not accurate enough, and markings only start at 140C, when apparently for a good done-ness, it should be 120C. This is what happens when you shop at K-Mart. (That's where I got my meat thermo).

You know, to the cognoscenti of the culinary world, such a meal would cry out for a good bottle of bordeaux, or something something red. There would be swirling and sniffing of a huge balloon glass, and the sipping and the oohs and ahs of appreciation for a fine bouquet, etc etc...
Alas, to my uncultured hoi polloi tastebuds, I can't really tell much difference between a cheap RM29 bottle of plonk vs a RM500 bottle of Chateau Margaux ..... Sigh. What to do.
So, I can't say I wasn't thrilled when the poison of the night was Single Malt. Which was a darn expensive bottle too, I might add. But I reckon it goes a much longer way.

The moment of truth, when the Iron Chef carves into the meat, with the precision and confidence of a leading heart surgeon. (the analogy is ironic)....There it was, the marbled red meat, with that glorious fat that makes up the syllable of my first name, Fatboybakes.... and hence, naturally calling out to me.....

Perhaps the sight of blood might make some queasy, but trust me, this blood was more like juice, and gravy..... absolutely divine. Perfectly done, I'd say mine was a piece of medium rare. Iron chef was exceedingly generous and seemed to think I needed a big portion. Aiyo, I don't think I've ever had such a huge piece of steak before. [slapping forehead for forgetting to take an elevation view of the thickness of the steak]

Accompanying the meat was a delicious shepherd's pie, the hostesses' specialty. Instead of the usual lamb, she used a pork mince. How can that be a bad thing? The topping was a generous helping of tender potatoes, and cheese.

Lest we be thought of as hardcore carnivores, we did have an accompanying salad, which I forgot to take a picture off. Juxtaposed against a meal of such extravagance, the salad this time had no choice but to take a backseat, the way one might forget to take pictures of Mawi when in the presence of .....Justin Timberlake? Heck, that was a bad analogy. I wouldn't have taken pics of the former, period.

Of course, after such a heavy satisfying meal, nothing like the fruits of nature to give that refreshing zing, much like a palate cleanser, before we proceeded to the real dessert.

A lovely strawberry trifle made by the hostess. Such a gorgeous combination of fruit, giving it such a festive aura. The only thing missing was the strawberry jelly. The cake, a butterish sponge, was yummy.



Also, my little contribution to the night, my latest favourite cake, the SPENCER'S FOUR SEASONS CAKE. Named after friend of that name, made for his birthday, ....this cake has been rather popular with friends. However, I have yet to be able to capture a decent photo of the 4 layers that define the 4 seasons.

And to top it all, a healthy batch of oatmeal cookies, made by the Iron Chef, from his grandmother's recipe that has been in the family since the 1800s!!!! Chewy, and delicious, despite being healthy.....I don't mind healthy food like this.

Many thanks to our dear host and hostess, and also to the Iron Chef for slaving over the oven for a few hours to prepare suchhhh a fantastic steak dinner. Indeed, now its true, HOW WILL I EVER EAT STEAK AGAIN!???!!!! ARRRRGHHHHHH!!!!

Sagely Advice

Sage (noun) [say juh] - wise old man, usually Indian & skinny, wearing loin cloth and meditates on top of high mountain.

Actually, it may surprise some to know that many ahem, regard me as a sage of sorts...they come to me for avuncular advice, such as, "should I date a girl who's 10 years older than me?", or theological advice, the most recent question being, "what's the difference between soul and spirit". My reply to the latter was, "One is a kind of music favoured by blacks, and one is a kind of drink".

Anyway, a few weeks before the MIGF, a few food bloggers were contemplating going for some of the MIGF, when someone said that the menus didnt look all that great, so why not go to Sage instead. Luminaries like AWOL, Hairy Berry, Ciki, ...just about EVERY ONE, had been and were ravinggggg about it as it if was the best thing since flush toilets. So SAGE, THE GARDENS, it was to be.....

Masak Masak I think, did the arranging with Chef Takashi and we only had to show up.

Now, the real surprise was that apparently, it was also a celebration for MY BIRTHDAY!!! AGAIN!!!!! Woo hoo, if I ever doubted I was love, a dinner at Sage certainly dispelled all doubt. Sniff sniff....so touching, and a gorgeous book THE MODERN BAKER by Nick Manglieri, from Boolicious. AWWWWW!!!! Actually, I had suspected something was up their sleeves, coz the DEAF ONE said last week, oh, sorry, I can't make it for your thing this Saturday. "Thing? what my thing? It's a food blogger's gathering. It's not MY thing", I said. So yeah, that kinda clued me in, but there were other reasons not to suspect anything either, coz Nipples ordered a birthday cake for his girlfriend. SOOOO SWEEET, the young couples of today.

The amuse douche. A little slither of unagi atop some ....errr..... cant remember what. I think it was daikon. I should take notes. Tasty little spoonful of goodness there.

There it is again, the menus on tracing paper. I sooo musst do that at my next dinner party. I didn't want to fill myself on the bread, and in any case, AWOL's words, "WHAT? NO TRUFFLE BUTTER" have been seared into my head the way the foie gras was seared on the pan. I have said repeatedly that I am not a fan of bread with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. It's too healthy. I WANT BUTTER!!!! ARTERY CLOGGING BUTTER. Had a slice of the calzone though, it was good.



Then came the first starter, the Tataki of Yellow Tail with Kyuri and Mackarel Jelly. Fusion sashimi, would be how this non-sage would describe it. Tasted good, but was gone in the blink of an eye. Much like driving past Serendah town. 2 seconds and its gone....all of it.


Feuillete of Anago and Foie Gras and Duxulles

Pan Seared Foie Gras with ....whatever whatever. The pastry seemed like a cross between puff and shortcrust. Again, tastewise, it was fine, ....but nothing really much to ooh or ahh about, and again, the microscopic portions were gone faster that I can say AH NA GO. Made me long for the virtually unlimited DIY chunk of foie gras we had in Sekeping Serendah. And I thought noveau cuisine with its molecular sized portions was so yesterday.



Another grouse was that the sizes of the foie gras didnt seem very uniform, and waiters were handing them out randomly....based on looks. The good looking people got more, whereas us sea urchins got teeny weeny portions.

My rump was well prepared. I wanted my rump medium, and it was a proper medium. Ah, tender and juicy, I was quite impressed with the way they handled my rump. Referring to Nipple's post, I dunno how come his had brisket together with the rump. Served with carrot puree, I enjoyed this dish thoroughly, although at this point, seeing as to how the mains were coming to an end, I did mentally contemplate if we needed to adjourn for hokkien mee somewhere. However, not everyone shared the same happy fate as me for their meats. Ciki had to send back her lamb, which was overdone, and there seems to be some general confusion at that point in time.

Wife opted for the lamb, which was also very good. Tender and falling off the bone. But seriously, all these portions...sigh, am I such a glutton that everyone else can be filled and satiated but me?

And finally, the much awaited part of dinner, and usually, in Cilantro, their predecessor (now under renovation), desserts are really their piece de resistance. The Rockies may tumble, Gibraltar may crumble, but DESSERT is always good. Not just good, but orgasmic.

So, can you imagine our abject disappointment when Crispy Roll of Tasmanian Cherries with Vanilla Ice Cream = Deep Fried Popiah with Overly Thick Skin, with a hint of foreign fruit within? I could've wailed and torn off my toupe at that point.

We also cut the cake that Nipples had ordered for Nic, his girlfriend. And he bestowed upon her that bouquet of roses.

SAGELY ADVICE to you young flers: DO NOT DO DURING COURTSHIP WHAT YOU DONT INTEND TO DO THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, like giving flowers, etc. Me, I do no such thing, so there's NO expectations from the wife, and she cant say, "why last time dating you open car door, send me flowers, talk to me everyday on the phone"..... nope! No not she!

Nevertheless, it always warms even the coldest most cynical hearts to see such love.

And finally, my last birthday cake of the year...green tea icecream wrapped in some green tea skin. Twas rather good.

However, seeing as to how Cilantro has always been my favourite restaurant, and generally the reviews of Sage have been favourable, I would certainly be back again to give it another try. [I have friends who've been there 3 times and still panned it, though]

Really, its been a fantastic birthday season, and I really want to thank all from the bottom of my heart to have gone thru such lengths and effort to celebrate with me.