Thursday, February 26, 2009

Lamentations of Lilliput

When a Lil fat monkey (an utter misnomer, actually, he's nowhere NEAR fat) told me he wanted to order mini sized cakes from me, a chill ran down my spine the way it does when you hear some gruesome story, or when someone scratches their nails on a blackboard..... (do the youth of today even know what that means? Blackboards, do they exist anymore).

You see, much as I enjoy baking, and eating, the two things that are virtually a no no for me, are decorative cakes, (we've all seen poor elmo, that forced the likes of AWOL into hysterical laughter), and miniatures. Ordinarily, I'd have declined, but since ALFM is so nice, and so reassuring, and so complimentary, AND, told me, this was my chance at stardom, I said okay. The order, 1 large pavlova, (no probs there, I can almost do this blindfolded now, thanks to Thamby), and invidual portions for X numbers, of lemon meringue pie, mars bar cheesecakes, Spencer 4 seasons cake, and tiramisus in cups. I could feel the life force draining from me, and to borrow a phrase by Argus, "might as well gouge my eyes out"....

Anyway, with much determination, and tenacity, I set forth to complete my herculean task, with the dainty hands that I do not possess, and with much elegance as a sailor who's not had it for a year after at sea.

So yeah, just before the rains came, I managed to somewhat finish my task...the worst thing about miniatures is the number of boxes you have to use..... to transport them from A to B....

Behold....


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The mars bar cheesecakes, and mini lemon meringue pies..... amazing what juxtaposition against make up items can do.... no wonder women use it.

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Anna Pavlova, ready for her curtain call....

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Oh, I forgot to mention, TO MY UTTER HORROR, SPENCER MELTED!!!!

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I had no choice but to try to salvage them, by running to Mercato and buying those inelegant disposable aluminium foil tart pans, and cup them.

Many of you may not know this, but I ahem, do have one of these:




Which made me analyse WHY Spencer melted the way it did.





YOU SEE, the exposed surface area for a 2"x2" cake is 2 x 1½ x 4 = 15 sq inches. (just the sides)
The volume is 6 cubic inches. Surface to volume ratio is therefore 15/6 = 2.5

Compare this with the whole cake, with exposed side surface area of 1½" x 8" x 4" = 48 sq inches, and a volume of 96 cubic inches. Surface to volume ratio is 48/96 = 0.5

ie, the small cake is 5 times more exposed than a large cake. NO BLARDY WONDER IT MELTED LA!!!!!!

Anyway, I sms-ed Spencer himself after the event, and the conversation roughly went:

Me : Eh, Spencer just melted la.
Spencer: I'm a sensitive fella also la. Melts easily :-P
Me: But the uncut Spencer holds up okay one wor...

Oh well, such is life....

But on a more positive note, apparently the cakes were quite well received.

35 comments:

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

hahah still dont get why spencer melted la...so its too nude? maybe u shud fudge it up after u cut..

Lyrical Lemongrass said...

Clap clap clap!!!! Bravo!!!! Blardy marvelous looking cakes!!!! I mean, I already know that the cakes taste FANTASTIC since I've tasted almost all of these before, but now, you've surpassed yourself, tangechi!!!!!! They're ADORABLE!!!! My initial reaction was to go "Awwwwwwww.....".

The Spencers in the foil cups have a nice quirky look when they're melted. I like.

Good job. :-) I mean it.

Precious Pea said...

Aiyooo...those calculation and numbers, confusing la.

Bravo....petite and dainty desserts from a big guy :) The Spencers looks good leh. Rename it as Tumbling Spencers and people wouldn't know that it was actually melted.

Julian Si said...

Pi or Pie :-) Heh heh. Hmmm, KERTAS JAWAPAN eh!

Cheers bro :-) What a nice writeup!

thenomadGourmand said...

yooo..nx time u make miniature ones pls let me know laa..or announce on ur blog.. so those of us who want can add our order also mahh..aft all ur making them alrei rite..

Life for Beginners said...

Hehehe... That's brilliant, FBB! Like the conversation you had with me and unkaleong explaining the whole process but now with diagrams and pikchers! :D

I reckon you can make this an FBB Speciality - The Mini-Melting Spencers!

jesse said...

Hahahaha, even though Spencer melted, he still looks delicious!!

550ml jar of faith said...

I'd order Spencer anyday...MELTED or otherwise! I think you've finally explained my tragically unrealized dream to become a baking empire mogul! I needed civil engineering qualification!!

thule a.k.a leo said...

never scored high in Fizik during mu secondary years..so I don't understand your theory.. lol!!!
BUt I gotta say... ur cakes are to die for!!! Keep up the great work.. you'll be famous one day!

Steve said...

I can just see it now: The University of Sydney announces its latest in innovative degree options: the Bachelor of Engineering in Culinary Construction.


Brilliant post FBB. The lemon meringue pies looked just like mum used to make.

GFAD said...

When you wrote abt the ringing in your ears, the google ad above your post was abt tinnitus. When you wrote abt dim sum, it was HK cooking school. Today, it's abt room service deliveries..

Haba... hahahaha.. haven't seen this word since classes in makmal sains!!

Err.. I bit blur la. What is the significance of the first pix ah? Love the gerberas. Reminds me of weddings. Well, mine actually.. :D

And I really really gotta try your spencer. Is the bottom part drenched in liquor like tiramisu??

fatboybakes said...

gfad, the first pic is the venue in which the event was held...
haha, maybe google ads randomly picks words from the posts and place the corresponding ad. what word? haba?

steve, indeed, it would be useful for many applications...wedding cakes, leaning cakes, etc..

thule, u too kind la. you havent even tried before....thanks for your kind words. we must organise a food blogger get together hor.

550ml, hahha, your comment was hilarious!!! yes, an engineering degree helps, after all, no difference between mixing concrete, and mixing batter. its all about proportions and temperature....

jesse, have u seen the real spencer? most ladies DO find him delicious.

LFB, haha, well, now its clearer right. alas, i think spencer really needs to be properly chilled....

fatboybakes said...

TNG, miniatures? unlikely la. anyway, i only have 12 wonder woman bracelets, (those mini rings for making individual cakelets)...had to do the mars bar cheesecakes in two batches.

julian si, i always said, pi are square, not round...

pea, there's already Virgin Spencer..(non alcoholic)...now add more names ah?

AWOL, thamby, sarky ah?

nipples, it did occur to me to completely cover it, but that defeats the purpose of showing the 4 seasons wor....

fatboybakes said...

oh, gfad, gerberas? i thought gerberas were little rodents...
.....oh, hangon, those are gerbils.

thule a.k.a leo said...

yeah... do contact me if there's such gathering like this. I will try my best to come...

chuishia said...

Next CNY can I order my cakes in mini size too?

They look SO adorable!!

And yeah, next time you have an order like this let me know mah. So i can put in my order too. Staying in Subang tough u know...no good cakes to be found.

xin said...

hahahahaha love your physics of cakes.

fatboybakes said...

xin, yeah, must have a chemistry class next hor, and then bio...

mrs foty, i am limited to 12 at a time wor..dont have enough rings....and you know me la, averse to this kind of hard labour...

thule, will do.

babe_kl said...

oh boy such a technical post but those miniatures looked adorable

CUMI & CIKI said...

like a sailor who has not had what after a year.. cake ah?

larger surface area = more heat absorbed or more cold loss to the atmosphere la.. why ur jawapan on ur kertas jawapan so long one ar :P

FBB said...

ciki baybee, yup, sailor who has not had cake la, obviously....or tart..
so good hor, your physics..

babe, haha, somehow whenever ppl use adorable, i think "ugly, but adorable"...

Nic (KHKL) said...

a brilliant spread for a branded cosmetic (i think so..haha!) store...it's perfect la, i tell ya!

congrats, fbb!!! :)

hmmm, good discovery on the heat transfer thingy, fellow engineer! i was thinking, actually, we do know about this, that's why we cut our butter into small pieces before mixing them with sugar in making cakes...cos they melt faster. just that we get so excited over the end result that we din contemplate on it..science is really wonderful hor...but the blardy long formulas kill the fun lar..sigh...

Diary of Kay El said...

You did well!!! Very pretty! No reason to doubt your ahem..dainty hands.

.: RY :. said...

Got to your blog by chance...AND I LOVE IT!
If you ever start a weekend baking class, I will so fly my ass down to Malaysia!!

FBB said...

RY, awwww, its comment like yours that really make my day..(not that the others dont la, but ya know what i mean). i'll hold you to your promise, which you may have to do sooner than you think...

diary of kay el, hahaahaha, very kind, thank you.

hairy, yeah, i reckon science could be so much more interesting if the lecturers and teachers MADE it so, hor.... instead of cold, meaningless formulae, or warm, meaningless formulae, as the case may be...

qwazymonkey said...

Now, finally some time to read some blogs. Boy, I've been missing out quite a bit now haven't it?

Mr. Fat Boy, u did a wonderful job lah. Take it from a fat monkey. Not exaggerating or anything but the guests were in love with your cakes! Some even wanted your number so they can marry you right away.

Once again, thanks for your time and effort in making these precious little lovelies! If this was American Idol, Simon would have given you a standing ovation already!

Cheers bro.

p/s: ur kertas jawapan is just damn funny!

fatboybakes said...

qwazymonkey, glad you and guests loved it and wanted to marry me.
oi, its mr FBB, not mr fat boy la...hahha, i thought i TOLD u this at karaoke!

YOU! said...

hehehe... melted tumbling Spencer, Uncut Spencer, Virgin Spencer.. what next? :p

fatboybakes said...

Naked Spencer? Alcoholic Spencer? Dark Spencer? (with dark chocolate)

Dee said...

Very impressed! I'd rather poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick than bake anything for anyone again. Still reeling from the drama of the wedding cake.

Eh, can assemble the Pav beforehand or will it get soggy?

qwazymonkey said...

I know. I left out the "baker" on purpose just to take a piss. LOL

Don't be mad k?

fatboybakes said...

hahaha, how can i be mad at you, qwazymonkey...you left out the "bakes" you mean.

dee...i know, i salute your valiant efforts..but your wedding cake looked yummy wat.

i think the pav can withstand a couple of hours before hand la. otherwise how!

qwazymonkey said...

yeah...i meant "bakes". gosh me and my shameful spellings.

Argus Lou said...

Wow, what a successful gargantuan task (melting Spencers notwithstanding - equatorial heat, cannot blame you lah, even if you didn't follow your engineering instincts), FBB.
So honoured to be quoted, even if it was for an eye-gouging moment.
I stopped baking for selling at a stall in our village market - can't seem to stand baking in quantity! I don't have so many eyes to gouge on myself, lah.

Anonymous said...

Fisher Library! ha! They built a super ugly auditorium in between the library and City Road!

anyway, I would like to know do you make any no-yeast rye bread? I love those from Melb's VicMart but never seems to able to find them in Sg or M'sia.

Thanks.