Thursday, June 11, 2009

My Big Mac Fiasco

Procrastination is the biggest thief of time...so we were taught, in school, by my geography teacher, who also turned out to be a cult leader, who was arrested (maybe it was ISA) weeks before our SPM finals. Yeah, I must've gotten a C5 or C6 for Geografi. (or was it called Ilmu Alam).

But I digress before I've even started. A sure way to fail essay writing. An introductory paragraph with NO BEARING at all to the main story line. Well, after spending good money a few months back, on a macaron class, at THE COOKING HOUSE, I STILL hadn't gotten around to actually trying to make it. It's rather arduous and tedious really. According to the instructress, it is an EXACT science. 180 gm means just that, not 182, or 177gm.... (how did they make macarons before the invention of digital scales? TELL ME?), and 175C has to be just that. Egg whites need to be sitting for at least 5 days in advance, out of their shells. (in a container, obviously). You cannot make them less sweet, by reducing the sugar. It is like the neurosurgery of the baking world. Precision, no room for error, ..... hence, it was with great reluctance that I attempted this dangerous feat.

An earlier attempt was aborted before it could even begin, because my brilliant maid was wondering why the egg whites were sitting in the fridge for 4 days, and used them up in a giant omelette.

Finally, the stars were somewhat aligned, with no pavlova orders requiring egg whites, and my eggs finally got their 5 day spa treatment, and complete rest.

Sometimes, you know from the onset things have gone awry. I had this psychic feeling already. And laziness and denial did not help. I knew there were lumps of solidified sugar in the batter, and yet, like Malaysia denying it is in recession, I continued to fill the piping bag with the batter, hoping that somehow, it'll sort itself out. Anyway, the batter itself also seemed all wrong.

Well, I managed to pipe about 30 or so, before KABOOOM, the entire thing exploded in my face.....there was chocolate macaron batter everywhere.....it was as if there had been a nuclear blast in Chocolateville.... I could almost hear little cocoa beans screaming for their lives.

To cut a long story short, here's my feeble first attempt:

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Some of the macs, that almost turned out....there were massive cracks, that makes the surface of the moon look like a new born baby's bottom.....

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And behold, the remnants of the batter that didn't make it, were scraped off the walls and plonked into ONE BIG MAC!

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Actually taste wise, it was okay. What a waste of good dark chocolate. Sheesh.
Back to the drawing board, and time to start saving eggs again. Anyone wants my yolks?

25 comments:

lecoupletoy said...
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lecoupletoy said...

Me!Me!Me! But preferably in a Creme Brulee before you pass it on to me ;)

Alexandra@Chefspiration said...

aww sorry to hear about the difficult time making these...I would not even attempt them! hehe..I'll stick to simple baking :)

Lyrical Lemongrass said...

They look beautiful wat. What you tokking?

Hilarious writeup, as always. How did the explosion happen? No pics? Wanna see what crying cocoa beans look like.

Christy said...

Hahaha!!! Your title had my attention and I didn't expect to see this (was expecting McD's version) and was thinking, FBB is interesting in burger pastries now? =)

It looks okay ler....haha, don't sound so sad! =)

No thanks to the yolks...=P

thule a.k.a leo said...

yeah... do something with the egg yolk. Make it into something that you are good at... ie. baking!!!

Lol... it really does look like miniature Big Mac!!! anyway, it was a pretty amazing first attempt... 2nd is going to be better (fingers crossed)

thenomadGourmand said...

LOL! You finally post abt it ;)

Yaaya.. dont waste choco, pass it on to us hungry mouths..* mouth wide open*

u shoulda post the exploded effect, choco all over yr face? walls?

Tummythoz said...

I too thot it'll be about a messy burger. Turn out to be those cutiepies. They look good. So where's d major cracks & post explosion damage?

Jason said...

Looks good what... Can I have your yolks? I could do a "sui dan" (steamed eggs) with them :p

550ml jar of faith said...

Waaaaay better than sloppy pedestrian offering of the big M that your title would have us believe! Big Mac looks the bomb, I can imagine munching it while watching something thought provoking... like Supersize Me! :-P

wmw said...

Yah, I don't see any cracks too. Where's the explosion? Should have taken pics of the aftermath! :p

breadpitt said...

ermm..little suggestion . the big mac...u can treat it as flourless chocolate sponge keep in chiller for a night and made a black forest out of it, if you compare , flourless spomge had almost the same ingredient consist...personal thought ;-P

Nic (KHKL) said...

woah, y'all learn such profound phrases back in school ar! so cool. in my days, we had to memorise, yes, HAFAL nilai-nilai moral. shouldnt there be practicals instead...sigh...

i'm sure your macarons tasted good la cos u really pay attention to the ingredients and flavours. perfection will come la, eventually. :D

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

when the stars r aligned again, make sure u get a few photographers there to capture that explosion of choc sauce all over ur face..haha..

y bother with 180gm? just make big mac sizes la..

fatboybakes said...

nipples, and all those who wanted pics of the explosion, aiyo, it was so messy, my hands were covered in choc, the last thing on my mind was to take pics.... it's like a passenger in a sinking ship doesn't think about posting a blog there and then ya know...

hairy berry, only one of my kids liked it... no prizes for guessing who. ooh, so what nilai nilai moral did you retain?

breadpitt, you know, I HAD EXACTLY THE SAME THOUGHT!!!! make blackforest (trifle though, I was going to make, not a cake, since it was in one ugly lump)...but yeah, exact same thought. BLACKFOREST. but aiyo, PROCRASTINATED again, and the whole thing went mouldy.

fatboybakes said...

wmw, aiya, lady, blind ah you? see the big mac? got more cracks than a 1000 butts....hahaah. the minis also got, but of course, i was more preoccupied in taking pics of those three or four that actually jadi.

550ml, guffaw...i hope them golden arches people dont slap a legal suit on me for using the name of their king in vain.

jason, sure, when i next make em, you can have my yolks.

fatboybakes said...

tummythoz, i also love disaster movies, like deep impact, armageddon, the day after tomorrow, so i share your disappointment in forgetting to photograph the aftermath. the big mac should give you a rough idea though of the magnitude of the disaster. its like a collapsed empire state building...

TNG, u and all the other disaster movie afficianados... hahah...

thule, i actually did make creme brulee with some extra yolks recently, but eugh, the texture was all wrong.... wont even bother blogging about that.

christy, heh heh, misleading title ah? oh dear. innocent look. it isnt my intention to mislead anyone.

thamby, see reply to others who asked the same question.

alexandra, i am sure an accomplished chef as yourself will have no problems with these babies la.

lecoupletoy, actually if you tasted my creme, you'd probably spit it out.

Pureglutton said...

They look pretty decent to me :-) And i didn't know macaron-making can be so hazardous - explosion and all?? You still have not explained HOW the explosion came about?
Eggyolks - use them and make some big fat sinful sugee cake - that's what sugee cake is all about!

CUMI & CIKI said...

ROFL .. NO WAY José will u get me to eat that weirdo bigmac.. uh uh:P LOL.. farnee, farnee post. takes a great baker to be able to laugh at his own flaws. how endearing:D xoxo, ciki

worldwindows said...

Looks like baking not only needs to be approached with TLC but with precise measurements.

qwazymonkey said...

U r so humourous la. But it's farnee to note that your pics and comments do not match. The macarons looks beauuiful wat!

The Duo Dishes said...

Too bad. That big one would still be eaten though. Crumble over ice cream, crush into a tart crust. Nothing goes to waste for us!

xin said...

can i have the macs instead of your yolks? :P im reaaaaaaaaaaaaally hungry nowwwwww

Lianne said...

what do you mean by kaboom? what can possibly happen la when making macarons?

fatboybakes said...

lianne, and pureglutton, what happened was there were crystallised sugar bits that got stuck in the nozzle of the piping bag, and yours truly here, being a typical msian and always in denial, press harder thinking it can pass through la. SO, the piping bag, the cheap disposable type, BURST LA.

xin, awwww, i'm sad you dont want my eggs.

duo dishes, you're right, the big mac actually tasted good.

qwazymonkey, awww, of course you'd say that la, you're biased my boy.

WW, yup, very precise. soon i'll need a pipette!

ciki, reality la. cant always score 100% ma.