2nd Last Day of the Zespri ® Kiwi Challenge - Let's Re Lax-ative, Cos I'm Running out of Kiwi-ative Ideas

Regular consumption of Kiwifruit is said to contribute to good digestive health.  Presumably that means the walls of your intestines etc will be well lubricated to ensure a smooth passage for you know what to you know what.   Some things are left best unsaid, unlike my Arch Nemesis who is constantly obsessed with being Poopular.

Anyway, even in circa B.K. (Before Kiwi), I have never really had a problem with digestion, and its consequence.  But then again, I have always consumed copious amounts of fruit through the day.  I find that the fruits that really help are .....Kiwi (of course, have to mention la right), Dragon Fruit, Papaya, Bananas.

Toss them together you get a gorgeous fruit salad of stunning colors, almost like summer on your tongue.

Anyway, since I'm running out of Kiwi-ative juices (geddit? geddit?), don't expect any fancy smancy recipe.   

Meet the Anticonsti, the relative of Antipasti (thanks to Ciki of Cumi and Ciki for that).....guaranteed to relax-ative your bowels.

So now my Arch Nemesis needn't be so FOS.

Anticonsti Fruit Salad

Quantities at your discretion

Kiwi Green
Kiwi Gold
Red Dragon Fruit
Banana
Papaya
Cherries for Popping
A dash of lemon juice

Toss together.

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Love Me Tender, Love Me Sweet - MYTH OR FACT? Zespri Kiwi Challenge

It suddenly dawned on me that all these chicks in this competition have been approaching this little factoid in a rather err, unscientific manner.  The fact that kiwifruit is a tenderizer.  True, they've all come up with fabulous recipes, that would make Jamie's olives pale in comparison.  Pity no one has come up with Kiwi & Kiwi, as in the fruit and the bird...but then again, it might be a travesty to actually eat the Kiwi bird.  Are they endangered?  Or is that the Dodo?  I guess since they are not featured widely in any menu, they must be endangered. I digress.

So, in order to see if there really WAS a difference in meat tenderized with Kiwifruit, I had to set up a more controlled environment.  Afterall, the slab of sirloin my Nemesis wolfed down like a bitch on heat could well have been a tender piece of succulent meat to begin with.

To start with, I chose a cheap cut, a topside, costing less than RM8.  I'm cheap that way.

I then marinated HALF of that slab, with kiwifruit.

The other half of the slab was left as is.

I ask Sonny Boy to sear the steaks, as is his favourite thing to do.

He opted to pan sear it with butter, and coat it with coarse pepper and salt.  Let's keep it simple. 

That there is bachelor no 1.... untenderized, and hard...or supposedly so.

I then slice up the two slabs, and blindfold my two guinea pigs. 

 The left plate is the tough untenderized hard meat, and the right, is supposedly the tender meat.  The two guineas are given random samples to see which was more tender. 

They seemed to be having a ball of a time.  

Results...drum roll....

Choice of the Tenderer Meat
Round 1
Boy No 1 - Kiwi
Boy No 2 - Non Kiwi

Round 2
Boy No 1 - Kiwi
Boy No 2 - Kiwi

So looks like the KIWIS have it for tenderness.  It's true, it's a FACT.  Kiwifruit does tenderize.
When I told Arch Nemesis about my brilliant experiment, she said, "I'm sure I'll be featured somewhere".  My reply, "Go rub lots of kiwi on that thick hide of yours and see if it tenderizes".

Check out the Zespri website at www.zespri.com.my

Day 12 Zespri ® Challenge - Kiwifruit, A Meat Tenderizer

Riddle: How do you make meat soft?
Answer: Use Kiwifruit, it's a tenderizer.
Riddle: How do you make meat hard?
Answer: Lady's fingers.

Anyway, phew, only 3 more days to go, before I can move on to something else, like cherries, perhaps.  At least they can be popped.   Today's factoid about kiwifruit is that it can also act as a meat tenderizer.  Since I am very "atas" and eat only wagyu, I have no opportunity to test out this theory on say Indian buffalo meat, so one has to improvise. 

Hypothetically, the best test would be on a hard piece of meat, like THIS:

Unfortunately, since I can't physically rip out my Nemesis's heart, we shall just have to use our imagination.  (Those of you who do not know, Thamby is the nickname for Nemesis). 

Let's see if that hard cold heart is any softer by the end of the day, as we await her post. 

Check out Zespri website at www.zespri.com.my for more details.

Day 11 Zespri ® Kiwi Challenge - Tea Time With Kiwi Tea Kawan-ah!

Ripe kiwis are really very sweet, and its unique texture makes it so versatile.  The firmer kiwis also have their own uses.  But the last surviving kiwis from the original batch we received are obviously very ripe by now, so I could not make the original recipe I wanted to make, (although the new shipment of fruit has arrived at press time)...

Anyway, what better way to have mid morning tea, (my apologies, Muslim friends, I realise it's Ramadan, and we shouldn't be shoving food shots into your faces), than with a scone, clotted cream, butter, AND some crushed ripe kiwi fruit in place of jam. 

Eating the fruit in its natural form means all the vitamins (and remember, it's twice that of one orange), and nutrients (equal to five apples), are intact.  So no point making it into a jam, and cooking it, and KILLING off all the vitamins, and nutrients, like some people did, HERE.

So have some KIWI -TEA-KAWAN-AH! (I hope I don't have to explain who I am referring to).

Meanwhile, do read the kiwiless tribute to me, by my arch nemesis.  As we are from a different era, I have no idea what song she's referring to.  Nevertheless, since this IS a sparring match, I am obliged to reply.

So since her bowel movements have been so err...Poopular,

Sung to the Tune of "I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING" by REO Speedwagon

She can't fight this feeling any longer.
And yet she's still afraid to let it flow.
What started out as friendship,
Has grown stronger.
She only wish she had the strength to let it flow

She tells herself that she  can't hold out forever.
I said there is no reason for her fears.
Cause she feels so insecure as competitor,
Yet it gives her life direction,
It made her bowels oh so clear.

And even as she wonders,
What to blog about at night,
There's a kiwi in the window,
In the fridge, and in the light,

And she's getting closer than she ever thought she might.

And she can't fight this feeling anymore.
She's forgotten what she started fighting for (it's for RM300 prize money la),
It's time to bring this ship into the shore,
And throw away the oars, forever.

Check out zespri website at www.zespri.com.my

Day 10 - Zespri® Kiwi Challenge - May You Ripe In Peace, Zekiwi...

Tis with a heavy heart that I bid farewell to my mascot, Zekiwi, on this 10th Day of the Kiwi Challenge.

It has been a wonderful journey with you, for in the last 10 days, you've taught me a Kiwi is equal to 2 oranges, and 5 apples, you have implanted me with your many seed, resulting in a more lubricated bowel movement.  The spike in Vitamin C must be the cause of my radiant glow these past few days, seeing as to how I am not pregnant and can't attribute my glowing to my pregnancy.  Now that you're riper than a gym bunny who hasn't showered in a week....

Furthermore, you are the Last of the Mohikiwicans, .... the rest have long since joined their brethren in fruit heaven.

Ripe in peace my friend, together with all these lovely berries...May you find lova in the pav.

Better than blending you into a SMOOTHIE, wont you say.

For more information on Zespri kiwifruit, check out their website. The above post is part of the Zespri 14-Day Daily Scoop of Amazing Challenge.

The above line was copied from some random blog.  

Day 9 Zespri® Challenge - Kiwi Vs Apple

How's this for a little nugget of a gem of a fact?  Did you know, and looking at the exterior, how could you, that the little hairy KIWI contains FIVE times more nutrition than the mighty APPLE? Gasp, I was shocked too by that fact. 

Nemesis wants me to faster post so that she can plagiarize and parody-ise.  I should tell her to shove an apple up where the sun don't shine.

And just as evidence,

 

Have a great Monday everyone. 

Day 8 Zespri ® Challenge

Today's task, show through a photo (cos a picture paints a thousand words), why we love Zespri, ....and since Sunday is a day for family and friends.

Daughter made these wholemeal crepes, chopped up some gold kiwi and slathered some kiwi fruit curd.  Son, well, to be honest, is just posing with the fruit, as he is not a fan.

Sunday is a day of rest, so no references to the Evil One who shameless copied my video idea yesterday.

I love Kiwifruit because the kiddos are watching with great interest the progress of this err....challenge.  

Day 7 Zepsri ® Kiwi Challenge

Tell them how my 7 days has been so far. 

Day 6 Zespri ® Kiwi Challenge (Newsflash added at bottom)

Today, since it's Friday, all we had to do is narcissistically put a picture of ourselves, syiok sendiri, enjoying that lovely green (since I still haven't received any gold ones yet, hint hint, to whoever's reading) fruit, which incidentally I am running low on supply as well.

Unfortunately, my short arms means I cannot camwhore, or all you'll get is a pic of my nose, inhaling the kiwi fruit, and shall we say my camerawoman this morning...well, she does know how to capture my most riveting and flattering angles.

We are supposed to sit back, relax and scoop some of that luscious green seedy flesh, ...but I prefer just sucking out my kiwi, like belitongs or escargots.  This is only possible when the kiwi is fairly ripe, or you might need a Heimlich maneuver if you tried to suck on an unripe kiwi fruit.

Since all is dry on the Nemesis front, I shall just ignore her for the day.

What have I benefited from consuming two kiwi fruit a day?  As you can see, from my radiant and glowing complexion, I feel young again.

Honestly, it's a bit hard to feel any effect so instantly, cos unlike my nemesis, I do not have a constipation problem so I cannot really testify to more efficient bowel movements, but there is definitely a very cleansing feel about consuming so much kiwifruit.

(Evening)..Oooh, look what the despatch brought.

Since I had in my possession KIWI GOLD, I decided to make a passion fruit curd, at the same time use up the extra yolks I was bearing.

KIWIFRUIT CURD

1.  Add 1/4 cup sugar to 5 yolks.  Puree 2 kiwigold fruits, and pour mixture into yolks and whisk till well combined.

2. Over a double boiler, continually whisk till it reaches custard like consistency.  Cookbooks will tell you till  it coats the back of a wooden spoon, but I've never really understood what that means.

3. Once it has thickened nicely, and can be spooned, add 90gm butter and whisk.

4. Place some clingfilm or baking parchment over the mixture and let it cool to room temperature.
5. Refrigerate, and bottle into jars, to be used as...a curd. 

Pow, take that, Nemesis woman.  

Day 5 Zespri ® Kiwi Challenge - Following A Recipe Is As Easy as K-I-W-I

Gruesome is the word.  Stamina evades me, as I plod on through this marathon of kiwi eating.  I cling and clutch onto my hairy fruits, crying out for inspiration.  With age, (mine, I mean, not the fruit), the imaginative juices (again, mine, I mean, not the fruits...they get more juice as they get older) run dry, like wells in a dry parched land.

So, at times like these, one is grateful when the task at hand is dictated, and doesn't need any creative license.  Just follow, blindly, almost..... Being one that overflows with the milk of human kindness, I had accidentally revealed some tips to my Nemesis, who craftily told me she'd be in a seminar for the next two days and hence would have no time to blog.  But what does she do?  Bakes at midnights and posts immediately.  Chis. Do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man, Do you know the muffin man, Who lives in traitor lane?

Anyway, out of the 4 or so recipes given to us, I guess it was only natural I should gravitate towards the cake one.  As a matter of standard practice, I always half the sugar in almost any recipe I read, but I noted that this recipe is actually that of half a standard butter cake, and I felt one cup of sugar, or even half a cup would be too much.  So I only used 1/3rd a cup.  And, FOUR kiwi fruits in the batter would result in Kiwifruit with a hint of cake, so I reduced that to TWO. 

As you can see, the ratio of kiwi to cake batter is still quite high.  And that's despite having thrown some into the batter and churned together.  The seeds give a nice effect, much like poppy seed. The other thing I did not follow was the baking time.  For such a shallow cake, (physically shallow, not shallow like me), it needed only about 30-35 minutes. 

The finished product.  The batter had risen, like Lazarus, and engulfed the kiwis which is good, because it sealed in the kiwi texture.  The cake itself, as I mentioned, is basically a butter cake, so who doesn't love butter cake!  I actually was quite pleased with the result. 

For more recipes, log onto the Zespri Website, HERE... and click on the recipe section.

Day 4 Zespri ® Kiwi Challenge - Kiwi-mansi and Kiwi-tini

Since yesterday my nemesis paid such tribute to me, ahem, in her blog post HERE, I dedicate today's tasks to her.

A simple nutritious and refreshing drink.... the Kiwi-mansi, similar to the Kalamansi and Sour Plum, containing pureed kiwi, some water, lemon, and 2 sour plums.  The way to drink this, (especially for my Nemesis, Lyrical Lemongrass) is to gulp this whole, so that you choke on the sour plum. 

But seriously, this is a lovely refreshing drink, especially in this hot weather.  I remember years ago, somewhere in the year 1992, when some of you were barely a dirty thought in your father's minds, the advent of trendy restaurants was at its infancy, and a place called Les Tableaux...used to serve Kiwifruit drinks like this  (sans the sour plum) and us sua ku flers would go ooooh, and ahhhh....

The young people of today are so lucky that all these exotic fruits are so readily available these days.

Meanwhile,

An Yindian accountant from Klang
Thought toddy was too cheap and bland
She's very the atas
She think she got class
So this Kiwitini is for her sharp fang

Kiwi she adds to her gin
Omigawd, what a cardinal sin
She won't constipate
By then it's too late
She'll be looking for a bowl to p**p in.

So best to stick to my recipe
Cos I always know best la, Thamby
May your armpits grow hair
Like Kiwi, my prayer
With friends like me who needs enemy!

For the more adventurous, and need more kick, a kiwi-tini, ...
A whole kiwi crushed, and divided at the base of four martini glasses.
A shot of cointreau, rum, vodka, with cold water, and a dash of grenadine and some sugar syrup if you have a sweet tooth, and ice.  Shake shake shake ...you can actually add a kiwi into the cocktail shaker too, for added kiwi flavour.   Kiwi-tini.....

www.zespri.com.my

Day 3 - Zespri ® 14 Day Challenge -Vitamin C

My Nemesis shared with me today that her regular intake of Kiwifruit in the last few days has resulted in improved bowel movement.  Good for her.  I've never had that problem, and I've eaten so much Kiwifruit I fear it will be growing out of every orifice soon.

We are onto Day 3 (aaaaaaargh, has it only been 3 days?!!!!), and today's fun fact is...I leave that to Zekiwi Zespri to explain.

So what happens if you don't get enough Vitamin C?  Well, it's unlikely to happen to anyone reading this blog, but in severe extreme cases, you can get SCURVY, which if you read about HERE, can be damn scary. 

So, do treat yourself to these plump hairy berries, (I hope you're reading this, skinny hairy berry), ...for your daily dose of Vitamin C.

And for today's recipe, ...do you remember when Konyaku was all the craze, and blobs of it were being sold for RM2-3.  And suddenly, they seem to have disappeared off the face of the earth.  However, I personally love that springy texture of Konyaku, so why not...

KONYAKI (afterall, what's a wrong vowel between friends)-WI....
10 gm konyaku powder, unflavoured
120 gm sugar
950 gm water

1. Boil the water and sugar, and add to the konyaku powder.  Uh huh, that simple.
2. Line your jelly mould with whatever fruits you want, in my case, kiwi, strawberry and nangka, for those lovely green red and yellow hues.
3. Pour cooled jelly mixture  into mould, and refridgerate. 

TA DAH.

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