Sailing To Max Kitchen (Lemongrass' 40th Birthday Part 2 of 2)

An MSN conversation with Unkaleong at 4.23pm, 27th August 2008
FBB: I don't think it'll rain
FBB: or at least, not pour
Unka: me too...

5.40pm

(Genesis 7:11)
In the fortieth year of Lemongrass' life, on the twenty seventh day of the eighth month—on that day all the springs of the great deep burst forth, and the floodgates of the heavens were opened. And rain fell on the earth [which look like it would last] forty days and forty nights.

5.49pm - Phone rings.
This is your favourite Unka here. It's POURING CATS AND DOGS.
[Yeah, anyone with half an eye can see that]

Highlights of SMS-es:

SMS from Bald Eagle:
Heavens r crying. My Blardy carpark also cock jam. Unfortunately we nw hv 2 tk 2 cars, so dnt be suprised 2 c Lemongrass. Pls help tel the rest. Txs.

SMS from Nigel:
Let's go home

SMS from Kieran:
Eeks, who suggested town!

SMS from Precious Pea:
U there oledi? Lemongrass arrived oledi? Jam Jam Jam.

It takes me 1 hour to get from the Hartamas intersection, (near the Wilayah Mosque), to the clearing on Jln Duta at Parliament House. That's a distance of 2 km. Max. I had pranged the car while endeavouring to manouvre into someone's driveway.

But it's not about me. It's her special day. Hairy Berry is updating me from SINGAPORE, as to Lemongrass' movements.

We are nowhere near Max. The dreaded sms arrives:
8.10pm from Paprika: Lemongrass is already here!

Ah well, so much for the romantic notion of all of us seated quietly by 7.30pm, Bald Eagle and she ascend the stairs at 7.45pm like a bridal couple, to dimmed lights, as we all yell SURPRISE!!!!!

The degustation Menu for Lemongrass' 40th.

Smoked Salmon, Artichokes and Sun Dried Capsicum


Sea Scallops marinated in champagne vinaigrett and lobster oil, charred tuna loin king crab meat-white anchovies salsa


Warm Eel Fillet on Truffle Cremed Cuttlefish Ragout with a
Melange of Fresh Highland Herbs and Sea Trout Roes


River Water Farmed Yabbies Char grilled in a Pernod Laced Fennel Bulb - Tomato Broth


Parrot Fish (Gasp) Fillet on Parsley - Garlic Poached Clams served with
Berlotti Beans and wilted English Spinach Leaves


Present from those lacking in imagination.....and didnt want to buy lingerie...


Chicken Breast Roulade With Pumpkin Cannelloni and Sweet Peas
And Shimeji Mushroom





(Specially created cake by Nigel and Allan of Just Heavenly Pleasures)

I shall let the pictures do the talking for a change. The food was excellent. All of it.

There is an air of festivity. Tipple is flowing freely. The stress of the rain and traffic eventually eases away, like a knotted muscle after a massage. With the nectar of the Gods, the world seems okay again. Friends mingle like fish in a small pond. There is hysterical laughter.

Someone talks about gayness. The deaf one asks, "what is gayness?"..... I speak into her ear, for ease of hearing, "oh, its next to an**"....

There's a lecture on the origins of the cuisine and food, from the chef himself. We learn that you can get yabbies from Kluang.

There is another soliloquy on the creation of Lemongrass's special birthday cake. A competition follows, to christen the cake with an appropriate name. One would never have guessed the amount of creativity in the room. Lemongrass' 40th Double D. I liked that one. A winner is selected, and from henceforth, the cake to be ordered from JHP is known as Lyrical Lemongasp.

There's the Oscar speech, by the birthday girl. She is thankful to her parents for giving birth to her so she can meet us.

The paparazzi does their job. The sound of shutters clicking away merge with the very old 80s music that plays in the background.

Finally, the lies, the deception, the plotting and planning are over. She is satiated. She has had a wonderful 40th.




Pictures of people? Well, you'll have to check on my facebook.

Deception At Din Tai Fung [Lyrical Lemongrass' Birthday Part 1 of 2)

Since Bald Eagle wanted his party for the wife to be a complete surprise, we her friends were tasked with throwing as many red herrings as possible, in order to make her believe that there was really NOTHING planned for her 40th. As such, we had to offer to buy the poor woman lunch on her 40th birthday, convincing her that that was the only celebration she was going to have with friends that day.

So a handful of us dutifully congregate at the famed Din Tai Fung at the Gardens. For me, it was killing two birds with one stone. Losing my DTF virginity, (after I've heard so much about this place, both good and bad), AND buying the Queen DSLR birthday lunch.

It's hard trying to ensure no conversational slips. It almost happened. Of course I couldn't resist rubbing it in, "you mean Bald Eagle REALLY not planning anything for you ah? You pore pore thang, and some more so few friends to have lunch". At this point, she wanted to take pics with the people at lunch (we should've invited some strangers from the next table to make the numbers), when wife (mine) suddenly blabs, "take pictures tonight la". I promptly kick her under the table, and she audibly goes OUCH. Roll eyes. Lies and more lies. I send the wife a text message saying, "I'm going to talk about Kajang next, play along".

Casually I turn to wife and ask, "so what time is dinner in Kajang tonight". "The usual time, about 8", she replies. The rest of us talk about how let down we felt that we weren't in Monaco. (During some drunken feast, we talked about planning her 40th in Bali, but when she walked into the room, and overheard bits and bobs, we said Bald Eagle's planning to host it in Monaco).

Lies, and yet more lies. "So, has anyone called to wish you yet?" "Do people even know its your birthday?" "Have you no friends?"

Meanwhile the food comes.


The famed siu long bao. Good, no complaints. Succulent meat, with a tasty soup, and nice skin. Apparently all have 18 folds, and chefs have to regularly sit for the Siu Long Bao folding exam. No 18 folds, its the chopping board for you.


Some cold salted chicken. I like, coz the chicken seems like kampung chicken, and is a bit tough. I hate soft chicken.

"So? Where's he bringing you tonight for dinner? You have no idea ah? Aiya, don't worry la, sure very romantic one, maybe Lafite". If I were Pinocchio, my nose would have reached Cold Storage.

Hot and sour soup. Good stuff for a cold wintery day like yesterday. Gosh, there was enough rain to wash the entire government clean.

"So...(glancing at the other couple), what are you guys up to tonight?", "oh, just a quiet night, possibly mambo jambo"....

"So Tim's coming for dinner this Saturday ya" (another ruse, another dinner on Saturday to throw her off the scent)

The fried rice was nice to me, but wife found it oily and mushy. It must be the company that made everything taste good.

The cha jiang lai mien. Yummy. Noodles are perfect texture.

"So you really want a pavlova ah? Okayla, I make for you on Saturday. Actually I wanted to make one for you today, but no time la. Also lunchtime how to eat so much". (Truth was I had already made a huge Pavlova, with a lemongrass curd and a vanilla bean creme patiserrie, with strawberries, mango and blueberries)

"I don't have very steady hands", she says, when I ask her to hold up the wantan.
The wantan was yummy. Plump, full of meat and prawn.

"Hypothetically ah, if you had a party, who would you invite?", I had asked her awhile back. Bald Eagle had actually sent me an email asking this. The long road to deception had begun. So, if you weren't on that list, you know who to blame la.

Buttered prawns, a crisp layer outside, beneath the sauce, but juicy fresh moist prawn inside.

"You better sing that I've Never Bean to Me song for my birthday", she chirps. "When? Saturday ah?"

Long Beans Fried With dried shrimp and chilli. Lovely. Crunchy and firm.



I have to say I absolutely LURVE these red bean buns. Thin foreskin, luscious red bean filling, absolutely delicious.

Unkaleong says on facebook: Hmm..she has a knack for remembering cars and number plates. Or maybe it's just mine....but hope you lot don't plonk your cars in front of the restaurant and give away the surprise..
Maybe stating the obvious, then again I have been known to do that :P
Talking to her online now, she sounds really depressed..Hahaha and I'm rubbing it in!
*rubs hands together in evil glee*

What have I become? A partner in crime?

Precious Pea replies:
Why is she depressed? Cos turning 40?? Hahaha..i had a short chat with her...you know, as 'sista' i have to at least have the courtesy of asking if she is free for dinner tomorrow. Hahahahaha!!!

Helpful suggestions from Paprika:
We will be there by 7:30 latest. Why dont you guys park at Radius International? She definitely wouldn't be able to spot your cars there.

Talk about snooping, one of the earlier threads from Unkaleong:
Man..A day without internet connection and come back to long thread...Of da course count me in. You know she actually asked me when we had dinner last Sunday, "You're not invited to any suprise parties thrown for me are you?"

Oblivious to the stress she was causing all around, she blissfully tongues the red bean bun before popping it down her esophagus.


And what birthday celebration is complete without kisses for the birthday girl?

And it all began with this thread on facebook:
Hi guys, on behalf of Bald Eagle, the gallant husband (of Lyrical Lemongrass), we are invited to her SURPRISE party (so no one tell her) on 27th of august, wed.
Party is at 7.30, at Max Kitchen on the 27th...need everyone to be there by 7.30, so can bring her there by 8p.m.
RSVP please so I can notify him. Alternatively, give me your email addresses, so I can forward to him. Just realised I dont have most of your emails.

Sushi Dokoro Maeshima

[HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY, TO THE INIMITABLE QUEEN OF DSLR, LYRICAL LEMONGRASS. MAY YOUR PICS AND PROSE CONTINUE TO MOVE MULTITUDES TO TEARS]

as I was saying,
Sushi Dokoro Maeshima
......what a mouthful for a name of a restaurant, which is more than I can say for its servings though.

In honor of the Budapest Babe, we met up for dinner at SDM, in Federal Hotel. Traffic on that Friday was horrendous, and almost everyone was late. Lemongrass was there, looking regal and as if she owned the place.

The usual complimentary appetiser. I think one could write a book one these alone, as every restaurant seems to serve one of these, but they all one one thing in common. Cost wise, I think its usually less than 20 sen. I mean how much can a few scrunched up greens and few grains of sesame seed cost. I also wonder if its complimentary or are they like the chinese restaurants, where you are charged per head regardless.

Because it was a cold wintery night, in KL, the alkies decided some hot sake would not go amiss. Me and sake, we go together like ramala alaala ma ga dingie dong.

The sashimi platter .... well, the quality is no doubt superb. But I think this platter costs RM 215....for as you can see, not a very large amount. To the plebian like me, who can't tell one dead fish from another, it was akin to being slaughtered myself and served as sashimi. Albeit a fatty platter. However, outstanding were the sashimi scallops, succulent and sweet. And the tuna belly. All of one slice.

I'm not sure what this was, looks like sushi with egg. The most fascinating thing about this dish was the decoration on the plate, which is that flower that has dried, but not pressed.

You know how pressed flowers and leaves just leave behind their veins.... but its pressed flatter than some women's chests... but this one is kept in its 3D form. Fascinating. Omigoodness, we're paying for decor.



Okay, the saba shioyaki was very reasonably priced, and tasted very good. Exceedingly fresh, and grilled to perfection.



I'm not sure what are these, but they remind me of chicken nuggets.



With luscious lips like these slurping up the chawan mushi, how can one resist. (the chawan mushi, not the lips). I had to order one too. In any case, as I said, it was a cold wintery night. Nothing like warm egg to fill a still famished belly.



The tempura was good, but nothing to shout about. For RM30, I can't really give accolades for generosity.



I'm not sure if they had run out of egg by the time we ordered our Chawan Mushi, cos it was only half a cup, as opposed to Nigel's 3/4. Even he remarked, yerr!



By this time a few of us exclaimed shock and horror when told that THAT WAS IT. Carbo filler time. So added the fried rices to top up. This one here is the plain fried rice, ie, rice with egg. Hats off to the chef for turning something so simple to something so delectable, hence the ability to charge RM8 per bowl. Fan chow fan. Likewise with the garlic fried rice below.






Ah, if I had to pick a favourite of the night, it would be this. Home made, home pulled noodles. Excellent. The texture of the noodle is perfect, crunchy, rubbery without being overly so, ...really quite special. And I'm not even a fan of cold noodles. I think it was Nigel who said there was something primevial about dipping noodles in soup like that communally and tucking in.






So, the dinner worked out to RM90 per head, without sake, and RM110 with sake.

At least I had a chance then to justify losing my virginity at AH NGAU, since I've never had it before. I had skipped lunch, so those dainty morsels of raw fish and chicken nuggets really were not enough. Nope, not even the 2 spoonfuls of fried rice.

To be fair, I hear from reliable sources that their OMAKASE is to die for. RM250++, and you're guaranteed satisfaction, both on the tongue and in the belly. Apparently its really good value for money. Well, since I am no Japanese food connoiseur, it will be a snowy day in KL before you see me part with nearly RM300 for that.

However, it was worth the price to pay to meet up with Budapest Babe, and the rest.

Perak Palates Paradise (Part 2 of 2)

While there may not be much to do IN Ipoh there's lots to do in the surrounding areas. There's Gua Tempurung, Lata Kinjang waterfalls, some smaller waterfalls off Kampar, the cave temples, AND of course, Taiping. Where? Hallo, it's my birthplace, I'll have you know. Taiping, as its name implies, is a serene, and peaceful town. It was also my first official workplace. I remember bemoaning the fact that I was in exile there, when one of my friends, who hails from there, said, "YOU SHOULD PRAISE GOD YOU'VE BEEN POSTED TO TAIPING". I think I almost turned atheist at that point.

Day 2 of our CCM. (Cuti Cuti Malaysia). Breakfast at some coffee shop in Gunung Rapat, supposedly famous Ipoh Laksa. Rather yummy. Resembling Sarawak laksa, though less coconuty, (in fact, none, apparently), it is a fragrant, subtly tangy soup, with three kinds of meat. Chicken, Char siu and siu yoke. Very good way to start the morning.

The Taiping Zoo and Night Safari trumps Zoo Negara (Not that it takes much) hands down, and really its a pity that there isn't more publicity. Located on the fringe of the famous Taiping Lake Gardens, the zoo is beautifully landscaped, and boasts a wide menagerie of exotic creatures. I used to like animals only if they were on a plate. But since picking up diving, in 1993, I have grown to love God's creatures.

Clockwise: Some deer wading through a algae filled pond, three lionnesses sun bathing on pride rock, while the male sleeps, (that should be the way), the rhinos (check out that ass), and a sun bear. I intend to visit the night safari the next trip.

Boating in the lake gardens is a pleasant and enjoyable activity. The lake gardens are probably the most beautiful in Malaysia. Juxtaposed against the thick mist enveloping the mountain range in the backdrop, all that was missing was a picnic basket with a bottle of champagne, cold roast chicken and chocolate cake.

I would be quite game to organise a gourmet picnic at the Taiping lake gardens. Didn't get to sample the famous Taiping popiah and wantan mee, as we were too late and everything was closed. My bro in law's GPS led him to a restaurant called Kwong Wai San, which coincidentally was where my parents celebrated my full moon back in the 60s.

Dinner was at a Peranakan joint called Yum Yum, back in Ipoh. Quaint little joint, with lots of antique nyonya furniture.

Magic Mirror On the Wall, Who's the Fattest of Us All?


Mmmm, petai and prawn sambal. Absolutely divine pairing. Problem with peranakan food is that it goes so darn well with rice. And we all know how EVIL rice has become in the last few years. NO RICE, I hear the dieticians scream. NO CARBO for dinner. Sheesh, chill man.


Fish head curry. Again, another must eat with rice dish. Lovely rich curry, with generous complementary taufu pok, okra, etc.


Pandan chicken, a bit different from the Thai counterpart. Very tender, and a bit tangy. I thought it was meant for the adults, but the minute it arrived, the kids swarmed like locust and finished it. (not my kids).


Omelette, .....well, you cant really go wrong with egg.


Deep fried taufu with a tangy sauce. Didn't care much for the sauce, but the taufu was nice.


Ostrich in black bean sauce. If you didn't tell me it was a bird, I'd have thought it was good tender beef. Excellent.


Now, I've heard about this place years ago, when friend raved about how divine and orgasmic the chocolate cake is. So finally, I get a chance to try the famous chocolate cake from Indulgence. They supply to royalty, it seems, and the restaurant is housed in a gorgeous colonial mansion, not unlike in Bon Ton style.



I think setting one's expectations too high is almost always a bad thing. I remember once my schoolmate in form 4 told me that he always sets his expectations low, so he wont be disappointed. What a terrible way of wading through life.

But yeah, there's something to be said about setting high expectations for desserts. Nuff said la hor. It's edible, and tastes okay. But I failed to experience the O word...in fact, far from it. Oh well. Maybe it had been sitting on the shelf too long.

Perak Palates Paradise (Part 1 of 2)

As I was saying, there is no shame in holidaying with the kids LOCALLY. We did it when we were young, and God forbid that my offspring should grow up thinking it is their right to get their passport stamped everytime the school holidays come. Too bad, if in their essays on "what I did during the school holidays", their classmates tell the class about dining at Gordon Ramsay's restaurant in London, or they went tracking to the Tiger's Nest Monastery in Bhutan, and stayed at the USD2000 a night Umar Paroi resort. Nah, no no no, my character building involves cheap holidays, if possible, national service, and cheap eats along the way. Nothing sends more shivers down my spine than parents who tell me, "My kids eat only haagen daz", or "My kids don't eat in coffee shops, because no air cond". Trust me, they exist, these little brats.

So, here we are, bundled up in the wife's bus, heading towards Ipoh. Why Ipoh? Oh, there's free accommodation there for us. A relative's house. The kids get to play with their cousins, from dawn to midnight, the place has as many computers as a small cyber cafe, ....it really doesn't get any better for them. Which kid would rather be looking at art in the Louvre, rather than romping around with all day playing Runescape and other interactive games and ......indulging in some token outdoor activity?

I've been craving for the famous Pun Chun Duck Noodles in Bidor for years now. It's the nostalgia, of a carefree youth gone by, I guess.








Their famous yam puff and kaya puffs. Well, I found neither to be much to shout about, to be honest. But it's not bad either. A nice breakfast.


Wantan noodles. The noodle texture is nice and "song", but I dont know about these northern charsius that all look a bit too red to be real. Wonder what kind of red dye they use.

The famous Ngap Toi Mee. (Duck drumstick). Actually, it is rather yummy. The soup is a nice herbally soup, with chinese wolfenberry, strands of tong kuai, etc. I would have preferred the soup to be hotter. I like my soups piping hot. For some reason, it wasn't. Anyway, my breakfasting experience was completely ruined when one kid knocked over his newly arrived glass of Milo ice, spilling it over the brother who then wailed like a woman who's Dolce Gabanna had had red wine thrown over it.....roll eyes. Kids these days. I swear they, the boys, especially, could do with a good dose of Outward Bound School, or better still, Royal Military College.

Another 40 minutes later, we were in Ipoh. Before my bro in law moved up, it was inconceivable that I would ever vacation in this sleepy town. Even Ipoh folk express surprise knowing we're going there for holiday. I have to say, the Ipoh Kueh Teow in Ipoh is EXCELLENT. Unlike Hainanese Chicken Rice in Hainan Island, which is absolutely gross. But that's another story altogether.

No trip to Ipoh is complete without eating at my favourite Ipoh Hor Fun shop.

Rumour has it that Ipoh girls are all beautiful because of the water that trickles down the limestone hills. Obviously its a myth. However, it is true though that their taugeh is super plump, and juicy.

Moving on in the food crawl, next stop, dessert. Ipoh Coffee at Sin Yin Loong, and caramel custard. The coffee is divine. Nice and kau, if a bit diabetes inducing. I think any specific order for kurang manis, in any language, just falls on deaf ears. You might as well be telling them, I want to sleep with your mother.

Sweet, sweet and more sweet. Not exactly my thang, but well, once in a while, and also not to appear too antisocial one indulges. I am not a caramel custard fan, but I can see why the fans would ooh and ah over this one. Silky SILKY smooth. Gorgeous texture.

We then went in search of the famous Tau Foo Fa "drive in", a hole in the wall, basically, but with queues of beemers and other luxury cars awaiting their turn for a bowl of this. 80 sen, and worth every cent. Smooth and almost creamy.

Dinner was the famous ngar choy kai. (Bean sprouts and chicken). It was pouring torrential rains and we got out the sampan to row to the restaurant. Malaysians are unperterbured, and don't mind getting their feet wet as long as their stomachs are warm.

I did learn something new though. When you order rice, its only white rice. They don't serve the yau fan (oily rice) that we've become accustomed to here. Even the Ipoh Chicken place here in Jln Gasing serves oil rice. Apparently that's hainanese chicken rice. Distinct from Ipoh Chicken Rice. Nor do they serve those chilli sauces. But good, nevertheless.

For sake of expediency in downloading the page, I shall break the post into two.